


All The Fucking Time

by BehindTheRobinsMask



Series: Keeping Up With The Graysons [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Blow Jobs, First Kiss, Frottage, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Resolved Sexual Tension, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:48:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23317132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BehindTheRobinsMask/pseuds/BehindTheRobinsMask
Summary: This part takes place two years after "Things I'd Never Say".Song: All the Fucking Time by Loote
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Series: Keeping Up With The Graysons [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1383784
Comments: 5
Kudos: 94





	All The Fucking Time

**Author's Note:**

> This part takes place two years after "Things I'd Never Say".
> 
> Song: All the Fucking Time by Loote

Change was inevitable. That was something Jason had always known.

Whether it was his father’s disappearance, his mother’s death or finding a place to belong with Bruce fucking Wayne, whenever change came, Jason had never been prepared for it. It hit him like a storm, sweeping him off his feet and when he crash-landed, it was always in an ocean so deep that all he could do was hold his breath and drown, into something new, into Dick Grayson’s blue eyes. From being an orphan on the streets to becoming Robin and finally maturing into Verdin, everything in Jason’s life had changed except for the fact that he was in love with his predecessor.

And he never wanted those feelings to change.

“Gonna stick around for a drink, Jaybird?” Roy asked as Jason gathered his gear.

“Nah, man. I’m on my way to Blud.”

Roy grinned “Going to see, Dickie.”

“Shut your mouth, Harper.”

“Whatever you say, _Lovebird._ ”

_Oh, God._

Rolling his eyes, Jason showed his friend the bird before getting onto his bike. Somewhere through the pains of growing up, he had befriended Roy Harper, resident archer and a pain in Jason’s ass. But one that he could live with.

Now twenty-four, Jason had pretty much grown out of Batman’s shadow and teaming up with Arsenal for occasional mission gave him just the freedom he needed to see what it was being a vigilante not under a brooding old man. This also meant that Jason couldn’t see Dick as much as he wanted to but that was alright.

If Jason had to be honest, after his make-out session with Ric, everything had changed and not in a good way. There was suddenly a distance between him and Dick, one that he couldn’t overcome no matter how hard he tried. And Jason had tried a lot. From finding reasons to be around Nightwing (much to Bruce’s annoyance) to flat out chasing after the older, he had done it all. Dick always kept him at arm’s length, pushing him to be with Ric instead.

But Ric didn’t want him. Not anymore. On the night of the party, he had stared at Jason with eyes full of love but once Dick started to pull away, Ric started acting strangely. Instead of teasing Jason, looking for reasons to touch him, he seemed lost in his thoughts, brows furrowed and lips pressed into a thin line. He never said a word of what went through his mind, acting as though he was alone in this world, not a shadow by his side. And Jason was too afraid to ask because he knew that if Ric pushed him away, it was only because he wasn’t trusted.

“This isn’t right,” Ric would say whenever he was with Jason, searching for his twin but never finding him. “This just isn’t right.”

Jason never knew what to say to that.

One day, without a word, without a goodbye, Ric disappeared after cutting Jason out of his life. He moved out of his apartment, changed his number and ensured that no one in the house would breathe a word about his location. His choice burned but Jason didn’t try to find Ric because that wasn’t what the older wanted.

“Ric Grayson is a piece of shit!” A drunk Roy had declared as he held onto a broken-hearted Jason.

Even though Jason wanted to agree, he couldn’t. He knew that everything Ric did, it was for his brother.

Jason understood. But he didn’t know how to forgive him.

After everything went down, for a while, Jason gave up, focusing on himself instead of the Grayson brothers. He even tried to move on, finding a new team and new people to fall in love with. But no matter where he went, his heart led him back home, back to Dick. Jason wanted him just as much as he did when he was fifteen.

And as he drove to Bludhaven, he hoped that Dick wanted him to.

Flopping onto the couch with his uniform still on, Dick let out a groan. After a long day at the BPD and then patrol as Nightwing, he was tired. If he took a second to think about it, he had collectively had four hours of sleep through the week, a lifestyle Alfred would definitely frown upon. The wise thing for him to do would be to quit his job at the BPD but Dick liked being busy. In the morning, he cleaned up the police force and, in the night, the streets of Bludhaven. It was a demanding task but it was better than being alone with his thoughts.

It was better than thinking about home.

After Ric and Jason had started dating, Dick had made the conscious choice of keeping his distance. As a new couple, they needed their space and if he was hovering around all the time, they couldn’t have that. Instead of showing up for movie nights, Dick made excuses. He threw himself into work so that he would always be busy, learned to lie to his own brother and bury the loneliness he felt every night he was home alone.

Now, instead of being a half-hour drive away, Ric was somewhere across the world, fighting bad guys, sometimes with Zatanna and her crew, sometimes with the Teen Titans and sometimes by himself. He was a free bird who never settled, flying further and further out of Dick’s reach and there was nothing he could do about it.

Jason, on the other hand, was still around. Dick saw him more than he wanted to and even then, it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t hard for Dick to realize that he was in love with Jason, probably had been for years. But it was a hard thing to accept because that meant he was in love with his brother’s boyfriend. He could never hurt Ric so he could never act on his feelings nor could he move on.

Jason’s smile wouldn’t let him.

“Damn, Dickie. You really live like this?”

Startled, Dick almost fell off the couch at the sound of Jason’s voice. He had been so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t even notice the window in his living room open.

“You trying to give me a heart attack, Jay?” Dick asked as his heart hammered in his chest but not because he was surprised.

Jason put up two fingers on both sides of his head, pinched his brows together and hunched forward. “If you were true vigilante, you would have known I was coming even before I decided to visit.” He imitated Bruce.

“B would disown you if he saw that.”

“Naw. He would secretly love it.”

Grinning, Dick shook his head and was about to get off the couch two strong arms wrapped around his waist and lifted him into the air. While his initial thought was to complain, his body froze as he stared at the bright smile on Jason’s face, the light in his eyes mesmerizing him.

“Missed ya, Dickie,” Jason whispered, his voice low and husky, meaning every word.

There was a pang of pain in Dick’s chest as he forced on a smile, allowing himself this moment. “I missed you too, little wing.”

They held onto each other for what felt like forever. Jason was warm and alive and he in his arms, Dick felt the same. Since Kor’i, since realizing his feelings for Jason, Dick hadn’t dated anyone else, hadn’t held someone’s hand, kissed their lips or felt love that was solely meant for him. And now, being embraced by Jason made his heart skip a beat, something it hadn’t done in a while.

“Did you eat?” Jason asked, setting Dick on his feet.

“Not yet.”

“Cool. I’ll cook.”

The right thing to do would be to make an excuse and send Jason home, back to Gotham, back to Ric. But as the younger touched his cheek and shot him a smile, Dick’s heart couldn’t let him go.

Jason’s plan was simple.

For the past year, instead of chasing after Dick, he met up with him ‘accidentally’. They would talk, Jason would find reasons to casually touch the older and flirt with him without actually flirting. It was a delicate situation, one that needed his absolute attention but he was sure this is what he needed to do. If Jason was open about how he felt about Dick from the get-go, Dick was bound to run. So, like a good scout, Jason took his time to lay down the groundwork.

Tonight, his plan was just to cook for Dick. Cook a dish that would blow his mind, serenade him with some music and wine and maybe, just maybe, hold his hand through the night. It was a small step but one that Jason was looking forward to.

The only problem was that Dick’s fridge had more takeout boxes than it did groceries. For a quick fix, Jason headed down to the 24-hour store, bought what he could while Dick was taking a shower and got to work.

“Do you need some help?” Dick asked, dressed in nothing but grey track pants.

It took everything Jason had not to stare.

“I’ll let you know if I have plans to burn down your kitchen.”

“Hey! I can cook!”

“The many take out menus say otherwise.”

“… I get busy.”

“Sit your ass down, Dickie.”

As the conversation picked up, any awkwardness that had remained between the two of them disappeared. They laughed, joked and teased one another, remembering old times without flinching. It was like the past two years had never happened. It was as if they had never been apart. And that was enough to let Jason hope for more than he should have.

Everything was going smoothly. Jason finished cooking and plating dinner, Dick opened the bottle of wine and they sat down to eat with smiles on their faces. Keeping the conversation going, Jason was going to crack a dumb joke about a new Robin that had thrown himself at Bruce when Dick asked a question that could ruin everything.

“Is this how you seduced my brother?”

With his fork halfway to his mouth, Jason stopped and stared at the older. “What?”

“When I saw Ric and you at first, I was a bit surprised but now it makes sense. It was the food that got him hooked, wasn’t it?” Dick asked with a teasing smile.

This was where the awkwardness was bound to return. Even though Ric had made the choice to ghost Jason, he hadn’t been open enough to tell his own brother what was going on. And refusing to get involved in their business, Dick probably never asked.

“Dickie… Ric and I aren’t dating,” Jason stated and the smile on Dick’s face dropped.

Confused, he stared at Jason. “What? When did you guys break up?” he asked, reaching for his phone to probably check through his messages with Ric. “He never told me.”

“We were never dating to begin with,” Jason answered with a sigh. “What you saw that night, it was just a drunken mistake. Ric never touched me after that. He barely even talks to me now.”

Dick seemed betrayed as Jason explained things to him. It was as if he had been led down by the people he trusted the most. Jason wasn’t surprised he was reacting this way though. He had spent the past two years believing in a lie.

“Oh,” Dick finally whispered, getting off his feet and moving towards the living room, his fingers typing something on his phone. “Oh,” he repeated and stopped, thinking about something.

“You okay, Dickie?” Jason asked, following him.

Turning around, Dick stared at Jason, his lips moving to speak but hesitating to say the words.

“I think,” he started and Jason felt his heart drop.

_Don’t say it._

“Jay, I—” Dick took in a deep breath.

_Please don’t say it._

Running a hand through his hair, Dick looked away.

“Fuck it,” he muttered, grabbed Jason by the collar and pressed their lips together.

Jason was being kissed.

Dick Grayson was kissing him, Jason Todd. Dick was holding his face and he was kissing him.

And if this was just a dream, a sick joke his mind was playing on him, Jason never wanted to wake up.

Dick knew this was wrong.

He had no right to kiss Jason, to feel the warmth of his lips, to know the taste of his tongue. But Dick had denied himself for so long, even though he needed Jason like the air he breathed, needed his touch and his love, the warmth of his skin and the light in his eyes. For Ric, he forced himself to look away. For Ric, he killed his heart every day. Everything for his brother’s sake.

But now, that apprehension, that dam that kept his feelings at bay was falling away.

“Fuck,” Jason whispered against Dick’s lips as they broke apart to kiss.

But the distance between them didn’t last for long as Jason’s arm wrapped around Dick’s waist, meshing their bodies together. Then they were kissing again. Kissing and touching. Touching and kissing, everything between them so urgent. It was as if they were both scared this moment would fade away like a dream.

Maybe Dick hadn’t been the only one waiting for this.

After one peck followed by another, Jason let his lips trail across Dick’s jaw and down to his chest, fingers tugging on the edges of his grey track pants until they fell away.

“Jay,” Dick whispered as fingers wrapped around his cock, pumping once. “ _Jay,”_ he cried his name like it was a prayer as Jason went down on his knees to lap at the head.

Jason kissed, he pumped and he took Dick’s cock all the way down to the hilt, all the while staring up at him with those eyes that made Dick weak in the eyes. He hollowed out his cheeks, lapped at the tip and when Dick was so close to cumming, he stopped.

Bleary-eyed, Dick looked down confused but Jason just smiled mischievously.

“How about we have some fun together?”

Without a word, Dick reached out for Jason’s pants, trying to unbutton them with his shaking fingers. And even though it took a bit, Jason never complained. Instead, he pressed his lips against Dick’s hair, inhaling his scent and placing soft kisses.

“You really want this, don’t you?” he asked, pushing Dick back against the wall.

The answer came without any coaxing. “Yes.”

“Say you’ll always want me,” Jason whispered, letting his cock press against Dick’s.

Dick’s lips stretched into a smile as he let his hand wrap around them both. “I’ve wanted you back then, Jay. I want you now. And I always will.”

Without a second to waste, Jason was kissing Dick again, hot and deep, biting on his lip and sucking on his tongue. All the while, he pumped their cocks together with a past so fast that it made Dick’s head spin.

Dick couldn’t really tell how long they went on. Maybe it was just a quick thing. Maybe it was long and passionate. But with his mind filled with only Jason, his kisses and his touch, he couldn’t keep track. Not that he wanted to either. All he wanted was to stay in this moment.

But as a white haze of pleasure took over him, cum splattering across bare chest, it all ended too soon.

Fear sparked itself in Dick’s eyes because his dream was over. Any minute, Jason would pull away and leave, taking with him his warmth, his love and the touch that Dick had been craving for so long. He had wanted and he had taken without even thinking of the consequences.

But instead of pushing him away, instead of realizing that this was all just a mistake, Jason leaned his head against Dick’s, looking at him with eyes filled with love. Dick wished he wouldn’t because that just made him hope for something that couldn’t be.

“You pierce my soul,” Jason started and Dick felt his heart stop beating. He knew this quote. Had read it a million times. Had dreamed that one day he would hear them from the person he loved. Had imagined the way Jason would look when he did. And here he was, standing before him, his lips wet, eyes sincere and skin covered in droplets of sweat. Just perfect. “I am half agony, half hope….”

“I have loved none but you,” Dick finished, his voice wavering as he spoke. But when Jason’s lips pulled into the most beautiful smile he had ever seen, the fear pulled back, just a little bit.

“It’s always been you,” Jason whispered, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath.

_It’s not a dream. This is not a dream._ Dick repeated in his mind over and over again as he gazed at the younger.

Everything still felt unreal. It still felt like a trick of his mind. But the feeling of Jason’s fingers on his skin was real. The kisses they had exchanged were real. The love that they felt was real.

“It’s always been you,” Dick said, gripping onto Jason. “For me, it’s always been you as well.”

He had never thought he’d say these words, not out loud, not to anyone, especially not to Jason. But as he spoke them, a heaviness lifted from his chest and he felt light enough to spread wings and fly.

“Kiss me then.” Jason smiled.

And without doubting himself again, Dick did exactly that.

**Author's Note:**

> Is this real life or is this fantasy?
> 
> Ahhh I'm so sorry for being gone for so long. I recently started college and life has just been hectic. It doesn't mean I've abandoned this series or this account. It's just that I've been so busy with assignments I've barely had any free time. Now that things are slowing down a bit though, I hope to have more stuff written for you guys. I know this chapter is a bit rushed which is not what you want after waiting for an update for so long but please forgive me. I didn't want to insert drama into this one.
> 
> Next time: Ric returns with a suitcase of drama and angst.


End file.
